An appropriate page title for a bunch of right sods who were supposed to be taught by some of the oddest characters around. This is a miscellany of Highbury memories that don’t easily fit elsewhere.

Firstly, some of my own:

School Caps & Other Things

The annual third year's bonfire of school caps at the end of term.

Bundling into the little sweet shop opposite Highams Park.

Holy Joe H's lost property auctions.

Being taken by The Martian to see 'Great Expectations' in Hampstead, and getting to see 'Dr. No' as well.

There was an occasion in one of the Martian's classes when there was a lot of noise coming from the playground outside. At the Martian's behest, the person at the back of the class (It could have been Phil Cummins, but don't quote me), at the Martian’s behest, rapped on the window with a coin to ssh them up outside. Imagine, then, the uproar when the glass broke!

 

Sports Day

A blazing hot day at Parliament Hill Fields. Non-participants were specifically instructed that "school ties must be worn". How ridiculous, as the instructions did not refer to shirts, which were duly removed.

Indoor Football (5A)

Being denied the use of the large playground led to the above break-time pastime in our form room. Often, HJH (see above) would intervene and confiscate the ball. The next one to be sent out of class (a frequent occurrence) would simply retrieve the ball from HJH's room in time for the next break.

Len Westoby:

Explosives

Who was the guy who developed the underwater explosive, and blew the bottom out of one of the sinks in the ground floor Changing Rooms?

Richard Dawes has more on this:

Steve Ford produced these bombs. There was another account on FRU about this from Andrew who just watched and later got the stick from K just for being there. Usual fair and just punishment system in progress; unfortunately the original account was removed when FRU went through a censorship phase following concerns about libellous comments.

Note from Ed: For the same reasons, I have replaced teachers’ names with their initials. The fear of a writ is heightened by the knowledge that we are dealing with, in some cases, some really vicious and vindictive bastards.

Bill Szelazek:

Various Memories

Here are a few one-liners to hopefully jog the memory of others.

c.1960/1 The condom demonstration - after various theories for its use were proposed we 11/12 year olds decided it was a device for overnight incontinence! Who brought the condom in? Was it Lennie Ladd, Joe Tozer, Geoff Yates?

c.1961/2 Pea shooters on the top of the 144 bus coming back from Wadham Lodge. Dave Trower (DDT!!), was definitely in on that. How we were not thrown off the bus I don’t know!

c.1964 The tramp on the other side of the wall in the 3rd year playground (and the Ex-Lax!). He seemed to be around for weeks during the summer.

c.1964/5. The great cordite/gun-cotton experiment. Somebody (I wonder who it was, Andy?), brought in some cordite that he had made, lifted the desk lid, placed it on the top edge of the desk and then dropped the lid on it. “BANG”. I have recollections of the desk lid taking off but this may be just wishful thinking!

c.1964/5 Andy’s little pistol in the 3rd year playground. Do you remember the outcome Andy?

Bill Champney:

Friday night dancing class

Does anyone remember the Friday night dancing class, run by (I think) Fred and Doris, the dance instructors. They showed us how to foxtrot, quickstep, waltz. I remember being shown how to jive by them to "Green Onions" by Booker T & the MG's. I think it was the only record they had which was remotely rock 'n roll.

Colin Stuart:

Magic Club

Tony Potter and I formed the "Highbury Grammar Magic Club" in December 1960. This continued through to the January of 1961 and even today Tony can be found - in his retirement - conjuring old photographs of poor defenceless 19 year olds to paste on School memory boards as well as plucking from mid air the odd flight of fantasy regarding his current sad state of affairs (see Tony Potter notes - have handkerchief ready!)

Lennie Ladd:

Early Talent (?)

Ken Tipple: His impersonations of John Arlott telling us that it was "absolutely pissing down at Lords", and also he was probably first to learn all the words to Subterranean Homesick Blues.

Old Ma G

Mrs G's tweed jacket and her music lessons where she would put on Dance Macabre and/or Ravels Bolero. We had to sit through until the end of the record before we could leave, even though the bell had gone.

Chris Pichon:

Latin

"Latin is the most important subject you will learn in this school" said Abe Lincoln as he patrolled the aisles rolling his billiard cue slowly over his groin.

40 years on and I can remember absolutely ziltch... except 'Ne Absiste' Don't Hold Back!

Richard Dawes:

I remember once all the third or fourth form went to Regent's Park open air theatre to see Mid Summer Night's Dream. About halfway through I felt a fart and struggled to let it out quietly, to no avail it ripped loudly and caused widespread giggles in a large section of the audience. After Theo asked who made 'the loud noise' (what a euphemism), we denied all knowledge and wound him up asking for a description of the sound so we knew what he was talking about.

The Electrified Doorknob, 5M was down a short dimly lit corridor, the door had frosted glass panels to help the light level. Giving some idea of who was at the door before it opened. I connected an electric shock machine to the doorknob and we watched for victims. Someone tall aproached and everyone said it was Bob Cross and turned it on, unfortunately it was P, our form master who took a belt, and also accepted it in very good form with a broad grin - very unusual for then.

The Wimshurst machine, a device to make high voltage static electricity, sparks could jump a two inch gap. For once Sid got his own back, John Dibb asked what the voltage was, Sid said he didn't know, but it was very high, JD asked if it would make his mains testing screwdriver light, a devilishly wide grin spread across Sid's face who said if you want to try you're welcome to do so. JD pointed the screwdriver at the machine, while still an inch away a fat spark lept out, the screwdriver flew across the lab, JD fell to the floor twitching. Sid laughed louder than the rest of us.

D's flies: After P left he became 5M's form master. One afternoon he appeared for registration with not only his flies but trouser buckle undone, his braces stopping the lot falling. The class soon noticed this, about halfway through registration he realised from the giggles his dress state and nipped out into 5M's short corridor to correct it, returning with one of the smarmiest grins I ever saw him achieve.

Richard Whiting:

Stephen Ford not only made gunpowder, he sold it in school.

You could get all the ingredients from Beck's Chemist near Dalston, not far from the Classic cinema. Kingsland High Street. I bought a bottle from him for 1/9d.

When, in Chemistry, Mr Key was showing us the Borax Bead Test, I decided to test some of Ford's compound. As I plunged the splint with its red-hot bead of Borax into the bottle, it ignited and sent a spray of flames and sparks over my hand. There was also the concomitant 'WHOOOSH!' as the powder fizzed. Apart from a black hand, I only had a slightly burnt thumb.

Mr Key and someone from the office wanted to send me, accompanied by a 6th former, to the nearest hospital. Somehow I managed to convince them that it was worse than it looked and that I should be allowed to go to my own doctor's surgery...un-accompanied. And they let me go!

Unlike Ford's sink destruction, where we were all kept in the hall after school until someone either confessed or squealed [no-one did, so we were sent home], I never heard any more about it form Key or the headmaster.

I still have a very small scar.

 

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